Feste's Lute

Scribbles & Sketches of the Unspeakable

Tag: submission

Oh, you’re human…: Like The Whore (Criticism)

poetryoutlook:

Success turns into the resentment
that we made when we were two-
thirds of a whole; twice forgotten
in Mars’ grassy knoll, our fraction
was lost to the unknown
factions that reside underneath the soil
there and here.

Unbeknownst to even the system
engineers, the citizens and…

Like the critique, love the poem.

I will say that I see a closer link with Mars, Babylon, candles and fire.

If, in the poem, we are lost and seek our home, Babylon, we must seek it by candlelight:
How Many Miles to Babylon

So the theme of war and the theme of wandering are used throughout. Candles, which could be meant to represent the studious nature in the old rhyme, must be used to find the true path. Fire/War’s tools are too clumsy/powerful. Gentle light will reveal what the flash of fire will wipe out. As the largest theme in the poem seems to be inter-personal conflict, I think that’s a great usage.

Of course, I could be ascribing meaning that wasn’t intended. :p

Oh, you’re human…: Like The Whore (Criticism)

Topspin

Asides? Keep them kettled.
Flamboyance is wanton.
just sit ‘n pen anthems
of blue/red threads inset
in the skin that you’ve numbed
with a flame.

You winsome, you don’t
but her eyes must have sparkled
when you mentioned the carving
you sculpt in the soap dish,
for the bugs in my mattress’s
brave escapades.

We need, lost our purchase
receipt in the hamper
washed for the gala
pressed and increasing
full count for the fruit-bats
the tree-limb bank branches
a surcharge, amoral
proclaimed infinitum

i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry
i’m sorry, i’m sorry
i’m sorry

Delirium Spinster

poeticallyundead:

By tar-feather shores,

dun mares descend prancing,

outlining haunted abodes.

Zephyrs will wind,

Branches drop back split,

and Recall repair

to cottages 

confused,

weakened by

nested wakes and 

ill maid consumption.

Submitted by: kholinar

moving this over…